


Er, whoops?

by littleboxes



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, One Shot, Qunari, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 06:36:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15382839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/littleboxes
Summary: "Tell me, how, exactly, you managed to not only fail the mission, but get yourselves strung up like pigs in a butcher shop?""It's all Kaariss' fault!"Adaar sighs deeply. "Of course it is."Or: Adaar really should've known better than to send Katoh and Kaariss together on a diplomatic mission.





	Er, whoops?

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so I know a little of the canon for Adaar's merc group, but here's my headcanons:  
> This isn't their first mission, but it's an early one.  
> The only members are Adaar (leader), Shokrakar(lieutenant), Katoh(warrior), Kaariss(rogue), and Taarlok(negotiator).
> 
> Kaariss(m.)- Thinks he's the most charismatic of the group, in actuality comes off as sleezy and insinscere, loves to rile up Katoh
> 
> Katoh(f.)- Badass warrior, hates almost everyone. Especially Kaariss. Does not hesitate to speak her opinion, gives 0 shits about anyone's feelings(Adaar is exempt from this).
> 
> Taarlok(m.)- The rational one, actually good at talking to people, setting them at ease. Very softspoken. Chill dude. Dad friend to Katoh & Kaariss.
> 
> Shokrakar(f.)- Gets shit done. Competant, met Adaar first, not very talkative. Is a mage; has a very Dark Past.

"Tell me, Kaariss, how  _exactly_ you managed to offend the elves this badly?"

 

Kaariss gulped. "Heh, heh, well, how was I supposed to know that elves get offended so easily? I only  _complimented_ them. It's all Katoh's fault, really."

 

Taarlok sighed, and turned (best he could) to their leader. "Not only did he offend their Keeper, but he also roped in half the hunters. I was ready to apologise, pack up, and try again later, but, you know Katoh's temper. I believe it was after she told the Keeper to- ah, well, that's not important- that they decided a quick death was too good for us. They decided to string us up as food for the wolves instead."

 

Kaariss was completely unrepentant, but also didn't dare look at either a furious Katoh or a rather amused Adaar. Anything he might've said was cut off by previously mentioned leader. 

 

"How did they manage to get you four up there, anyway? Surely you didn't just stand there and  _let_ them?" 

 

At this, even Taarlok blushed a faint pink. "Ah, well, er- apparently elves get creative when insulted. They had a mage paralyse us, then used some fancy knots to tie the rope." Had his hands been free, he would've rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. 

 

Adaar absorbed this information in her usual manner- a mixture of apathy and quiet amusement. Then, she smiled. "Well, Katoh, Kaariss, I can say- completely truthfully- that I have never once met a pair of beings so utterly hopeless at every kind of communication possible.  _All_ I wanted you to do was meet with the elves, ask to trade for some herbs, and return. Next time, leave the talking to Taarlok, for Andraste's sake."

 

Both Qunari immediately protested- Kaariss, because he  **firmly** believed that he was  _phenomenal_ with people  _and you just won't let me utilize my talents in the proper environment_ , and Katoh because she detested being compared to Kaariss ( _that bumbling idiot_ ) in any way- or at least, that was  _probably_ what she meant. It was hard to tell through the gag. 

 

After laughing a bit at their reactions, Adaar carefully cut them down, insisting that they keep moving-  _don't want to risk running into the elves again, eh?_. She summarily ignored Kaariss' _loud_ and _frequent_ complaints of a headache, and Shokrakar- the only other member aside from Adaar who'd been successful in their task- met up with them a few hours later, and was promptly given the task of stopping Katoh from trying to murder Kaariss. Adaar shot her a look of gratitude after the fifth attempt. 


End file.
